It isn’t onerous to see what Rival Video games was considering with Thief of Thieves. Take a long-running comedian collection by Robert Kirkman, co-creator of The Waking Lifeless, give it the Telltale Video games therapy with fancy cel-shaded comedian e book stylings, add some Hitman-lite sneaking about in fashionable European areas with a gang of smart-mouthed Ocean’s Eleven-esque characters and bingo! You’ve got bought a surefire factor in your palms.
Besides no. Not when you solely handle to nail the aesthetic after which proceed to layer it on prime of tediously primary gameplay, damaged AI, dire performing, a pain-in-the-ass predominant protagonist and by-the-numbers storyline. We’re sorry to report that Thief of Thieves is a foul sport; one which was tough sufficient on PC however is made even worse right here by a shoddy, buggy Change port that is an absolute slog to play by way of.
From the second we’re launched to Celia, the central protagonist of the story and protégé of Conrad Paulson, the titular Thief of Thieves from the comedian books, issues aren’t trying nice. Apprehended at an airport and brought away for interview, Celia is instantly unlikable. She’s overly cocky with a horrible line in sarcastic humour which colors the response decisions you are given throughout her conversations. Nearly each time we had been introduced with a choice of her solutions to easy questions, we baulked on the truth we needed to be so terribly unwitty with our inquisitors, our sassy responses way more cringe-worthy than in any approach cool. It is dangerous, and by no means enamours you to the character you are enjoying, nevertheless it’s a state of affairs made a lot worse as soon as the gameplay kicks in.
Over the course of the handful of quick missions included in season one – it is a sport you will polish off in 4 hours when you stick round to the ending – you are pressured to partake in some very primary and clunky Hitman-style breaking and getting into; gathering information at a flowery cocktail occasion, blackmailing a practice employee, infiltrating the very same practice station twice at totally different occasions of the day and performing some sneaking about on a practice filled with your adversaries.
Each single one in all these missions is hamstrung by dangerous dialogue, clunky controls and fixed stuttering and framerate issues. There is a bug which crashes you to the homescreen, completely dumb AI (at one level a guard caught us infiltrating an off-limits space, threw us to the bottom then simply walked away as a result of they forgot what they had been doing as they had been doing it) and a horrible digital camera that may transfer between two viewpoints in a scene at anybody time – each of which frequently make it inconceivable to see any of the necessary parts of the situation you are at present embroiled in.
You’ve got bought an instinct mode, initiated by a press of the L button, which throws up hints, suggestions and little bits of dialogue – stylishly splashed throughout the background surroundings of the extent you are enjoying – that take away each single ounce of problem or precise considering you might need been anticipated to do to be able to full your present mission. Instinct will inform you the place to stroll, what to assume and precisely how it’s best to go about retrieving no matter it’s you are in want of at any given time, and you may use it, as a result of the nonsensical story does a horrible job of informing you what is going on on for probably the most half, and you will be eager to get by way of issues as shortly as attainable by any means vital. There is not any feeling of feat or pleasure in finishing something right here; it is only a clunky mess that you’re going to bumble your approach by way of like Inspector Clouseau, sans the comedy.
Let’s speak about another elements of the gameplay. You’ll be able to vault over partitions and different obstacles – besides typically you may’t, the sport choosing and selecting at random when it looks like having its most elementary mechanics work. There are empty cans you can throw to distract guards as you sneak across the pixelated and blurry ranges, however they’re awkward to make use of and basically ineffective because the guards do not get distracted for lengthy sufficient so that you can sneak previous lots of the time, typically turning round as you are crouch-walking by – nevertheless it’s wonderful, as there is a good probability they will not discover you anyway as a result of someone forgot to program the AI correctly.
On one event we fell off the roof of a museum – a really excessive roof – tumbled down the aspect, smashing by way of some scaffolding and crashing noisily right into a floodlit space patrolled by a couple of safety guards. Celia did not get damage, maybe cushioned someway by her overwhelmingly annoying persona, and the guards nonetheless did not react; we had been free to get on with milling about, pushing and pulling at random bits and items till we gave up, hit instinct and proceeded on our merry approach, Celia snapping her fingers and giving it “piece of cake” as she waltzed out of the extent.
There are QTEs that you’re going to fail as a result of speech bubbles pop up in entrance of the command prompts, horrendous stuttering each time you alter digital camera angles and much and plenty of overly lengthy loading occasions breaking apart the degrees, so you’ve loads of time to consider all the opposite video games you might have been enjoying as a substitute of losing your time with this.
Thief of Thieves is an terrible online game. It is tedious and clunky, has damaged AI, terrible dialogue, depressing characters and a boring story that has completely nothing of curiosity to say or add to the heist style. Its cel-shaded, comic-book type graphics are a powerful level, however they’re compromised right here by a weak Change port that is too blurry in handheld mode and horribly pixelated once you dock it to play on an enormous display screen. There are additionally a handful of unforgivable technical points; noticeable framerate issues, a bug that crashes you again to your console’s homescreen and overly lengthy loading occasions that break up the gameplay far too typically. Briefly, it is a crime-heist caper that is out to rob you of your money and time and is, in each conceivable approach, rather more of a snore than a rating. Keep away from.